It doesn't matter what you think!

Seriously pissed right now? You bet.

I have to control myself before I go out of control screwing everything (or everyone, if they are human enough) to the point that I am totally screwed, which is not a good thing.

I don’t even know if I should rant about this, I still feel very pissed. I remember one of the posters in our school said “Do not blog when you are feeling angry.” You know what? Screw that and ftw(and I do not mean For the Win, find out the other meaning yourself)

I nvr really had a time where I can sit down and shut up and turn back and see what I have done over these 4 years. Secondary sch education is ending, and i am damn proud of it. I now have a extremely big and sudden urge to study hard and get out of this school. I know it’s not new year’s but I will be once again looking back on what I have done over the years (or over the months and weeks, to be more precise). If you don’t like to see me say some bullsht, then press that little X on the top right hand corner of the window. Thanks

I am a person who has a fear of failure and it is not a good thing to me when I do not meet up to my own expectations. I mean, who loves to fail? It’s difficult when I know that failure has caught up with me, and due to my severe failblog addiction, my head will go “fail, fail, EPIC FAIL!”

It is not easy to pass that first part of the anger, misery, frustration, sadness and heartbrokenness because it kills me emotionally, psychologically, mentally, socially and most of all physiologically. Believe me, I am experiencing this right now. Trust me, I am tempted to use swear words, but I am controlling myself.

I don’t know how to put it, but if I write this down, some people will feel very pissed from what I am about to write. But at this point of time, I don’t really CARE anymore. I apologise if this will offend anybody. I am in no mood to accept comments

All the times I have put in, all the hard work I placed, all the pain and suffering I’ve gone through. So much time gone like that. What do i get? Nothing
I work hard myself to do better and I try my best to excel. When the problem arises, I try my maximum potential to solve it. What do i get in return? Nothing
Spending extra time doing my stuff, working hard to get things right and neat (i hate messy things), using more innovative attempts to solve problems. Any commendation? Nothing
Devoting my time with ways to improve myself. Trying to influence others. Trying my best to improve myself in this year. Result? I did better last year
Make some small mistakes, creating a “cumulative” or snowball effect. What does this mean? You totally screw yourself up and totally destroy your hopes.

Seriously, I have never ranted like this. I even placed them in points form so that you understand how I bloody feel. Yes I am pissed, but they always say “giving up is the only failure”. So, fine, I’ll change, but how? I have already tried my best. What shit do I get? Bullshit. I want to give up, I really do. But I won’t, because there is still one more pillar standing down there, still supporting me, and if that pillar doesn’t disappear, I will not give up. This is my last chance and eventually will be my last straw

9:27:00 pm